I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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