Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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