your parents love me but you hate me
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
