Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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