On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
