How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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