I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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