Little spoons don't ask big questions
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize