I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
