So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
