so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
