I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
