my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
