Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
