And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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