and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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