i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
the room spins SO much faster in panama
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
When are your genitals available?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
