just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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