yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
