my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
So many bounce houses so little time
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
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