I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
