You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
