He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Actions speak louder than pants.
should my penis look like a turkey
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
