My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
