non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
