I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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