I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Your tits are I can't wait for
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
