So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
from now on my penis is your penis
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Let's get the cat blown out
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