Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
You were trust falling into bushes
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize