honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
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