Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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