Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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