paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
