I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'm getting married
To pizza
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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