Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
