U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
