My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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