if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
