Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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