And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
