bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize