Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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