spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
