how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
