He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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