would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize