I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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