It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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