I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
