Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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