Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
