I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
