nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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