i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
