That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
