College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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