i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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