i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
