Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
kristin has been a bad kristin
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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