I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Sober January is a disaster.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
