have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
