I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize