So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
