He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
