First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
