don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize